A Homage to Srila Prabhupada
by Sangita devi dasi
My dear Srila Prabhupada,
Please accept my most humble obeisances at your divine lotus feet.
This day of the anniversary of your disappearance from this material world is one that is both bitter and sweet. Every day I miss you so very much that sometimes it feels impossible to go on. I can hardly believe it has been over thirty years since we last saw Your Divine Grace. I miss hearing the telegrams we would receive announcing that you would soon be arriving. I miss getting your quarters in order for you. I miss cooking for you in the Hawaii temple, making your garlands, arranging your flower vases, dressing the older Panca-tattva Deities on the altar in the Honolulu temple made of paper mâché and watching the expression on your face when the altar doors opened and praying that you were pleased with how Their Lordships were dressed. I miss waiting for you to leave for your morning walk and giving you a plumeria flower and I miss waiting for you to return to the temple to listen to yet another inspiring Srimad Bhagavatam class. I know these times are memories now, but strong ones that can never be forgotten and that are memories that sustain us. One day we will see you once again in the spiritual world, Srila Prabhupada, where we will eternally assist you in your service to Sri Sri Radha and Krsna. We will make more memories together which will never ever end.
I look forward to the day you come to take me from this world of suffering when my old body becomes so ill that you will so kindly reach your hand out to mine to take me to where Radha and Krsna reside. You once said that you will stand in the middle of us and Krsna and you will join our hand together with Krsna's hand so we will once again be reunited. I cannot even imagine how much I have to look forward to when I think of seeing you in your true spiritual form. I think that is what I look forward to the most. How much I have to look forward to! My dear Srila Prabhupada, you have given us a life worth living now since we have met you. And you have given us such a bright future to look forward to in serving you for all time in the spiritual world along with all of your other eternal servants. I cannot imagine what my life would have been like if I had never met you. It would have been one of only suffering and misery instead of one of service and blissful times together with you and your other devotees. I thank you so much for coming to this world to bring us back home where we belong. I thank you for coming here and performing so much austerity due to your unlimited compassion for us. You would sometimes have tears in your eyes that streamed down your face as you spoke of the suffering we poor souls had to endure in this material world for so very long just waiting to go home, back to Godhead. You cared so much for our well-being that you would actually cry for us.
If I had one thousand heads with one thousand mouths speaking forever just like Anantasesa, it still would not be enough to thank you for all you have done for me and for the entire world of suffering souls. You came here in such an unpretentious manner that not many people noticed your appearance and when it was time for you to leave this world, the covered souls did not take much notice that you had even left. How unfortunate for them! But, I thank you for allowing me to sit close to your lotus feet and to become one of your many initiated disciples. In this way you arranged that we could be linked together for all time. You once said, "Do not be surprised who leaves this movement, be surprised who stays." I am very surprised I stayed, but I realize it is only due to your causeless mercy upon me that made me stay at your feet and continue to serve you.
I beg you to keep me at your lotus feet forever so I can one day be with you again in person and perhaps have a chance to please you.
I beg to remain,
Your humble servant,
Sangita devi dasi